all five horizons

I have realised lately that I have had less and less to say here and it is odd. I think Twitter has a lot to answer for - the ease of short, snappy comments and the constant stream of ideas and thoughts is quite enticing. It also has something to do with the fact that more people I actually know read this so I suppose it has made me more careful. I have said before that I am this massive paradox and even my closet friends and family rarely know it. I may be confident and happy but I am also neurotic and desolate. That is such a good word for how I feel so much of the time lately. Dictionary.com defines ‘desolate’ as:

• barren or laid waste; devastated
• deprived or destitute of inhabitants; deserted; uninhabited.
• solitary; lonely
• having the feeling of being abandoned by friends or by hope; forlorn.
• dreary; dismal; gloomy

I love it when one word can say so much. Anyway, right now I am going to snuggle up under the covers watching Juno and enjoying the early night. And hopefully tomorrow I can find some other words which say so much but are less likely to bum you the eff out.

I have been singing this to myself lately:

Created using Wordle thanks to Miss Attitude.

There has been a right old kerfuffle in the blogging community about the trademark infringement which confused the site now called Kirtsy (formerly sk*rt) with the super brilliant magazine for women, skirt!. I have no issue with Kirtsy – the site seems to be full of lifestyle links aimed at women. But I was a bit disheartened to read the slamming of the skirt! magazine for their defence (quite rightly) of their brand. To prove the point, I had seen a Sk*rt button on the blog of one of Kirtsy’s editors but had ignored it, thinking it was related to skirt! And since I already had that wonderful site bookmarked, I did not see the need to click through. In fact, it is only with the kerfuffle that I even visited the Kirtsy site so instead of complaining, they ought to be glad of the publicity! The reason I was so disheartened about all the negativity and nastiness is that this crap came predominantly from women, the very women who the skirt! magazine aims to support and celebrate. There is already enough crap out there without the blogging community adding to it with this ill-informed slamming. Its actually a bit embarrassing reading the comments. I think they need to get a little perspective.

I am writing this because Aleigh, one of skirt!’s editors, asked any fans of the magazine to blog about why they love skirt!. So here goes:

I love skirt! because the articles are well-written, witty, informative, thought-provoking and varied. I love skirt! because there are precious few sites that cater for women’s intellectual needs, not just their needs for buying cool shit. I love skirt! because it gives me insight into other communities and lives. I love skirt! because it inspires me. I love skirt! because I feel part of a community in its own right, even though I live far away. I wish there was a skirt! Warwick or a skirt! UK for that matter! Go and check it out if you haven’t done so already.

I was going to post all about my fantastic weekend but we had some very sad news today and now I’m just not in the mood. My 97 year old great auntie died a few hours ago. She was old and poorly but I am still so sad she has gone. She was strong, loyal, funny and sacrificed her chance at love to look after her sister. She was a lovely lady.

I must be getting old - I didn’t get any Easter eggs this year!  But all in all it was a good Easter weekend.  We are lucky in the UK and get two bank holidays (good Friday and Easter Monday).  So as not to monkey with tradition, Rich and I started decorating our house (because what else are you meant to do with a 4 day weekend? This is sarcasm.)  We desperately needed to elimiate the ghastly red in our kitchen so we put 3 coats of white base coat and the first coat of the colour we had chosen only to realise it looked like ass with our kitchen cupboards.  So then we had to paint two more coats of a better, nices, less ass-like colour.  We now have all the woodwork to do (which is always a pain in the bum) so hopefully by the weekend we will be all done. 

In other news, I managed to leave my hand-luggage at Sofia airport (between security and the plane) - it’s a long story which basically involves me being a ‘tard.  I realised as soon as I got on the plane.  The air stewardess even ran back to the gate to see if she could see but she couldm’t.  The Bulgarian ground staff apparently found it straight away after that but it was too late to get it to me.  I didn’t know this though so there were some angry, hot, silent tears whilst we waited to take off which were the manifestation of my complete inane stupidity (a completely necessary pleonasm).  Anyway, the upshot was that British Airways in Sofia would not send it to me or to Heathrow.  They would only allow me to have it collected.  Now, I do not have a ton of friends or contacts in Sofia so this was a bit of a problem.  Luckily, I stayed at a nice hotel.  After speaking to the even nicer lady on reception, I managed to get them to pick up the bag for me (they provide a transfer service to and from the airport so they picked it up on their next trip out there) and then they very kindly contacted various couriers, provided me with quotes, checked the contents of the bag for the courier (euw laundry, sorry, nice hotel lady), emailed me every step of the way, took payment from me by credit card on behalf of the courier (but did not charge me a bean extra for all the kerfuffle) and yesterday organised the courier to pick up my bag. 

It arrived by Fedex this morning.  I am SOOOO happy.  The bag itself was a Christmas present from my parents.  Inside, there was a £300 suit (the only posh suit I own) which is now not available and other personal bits and pieces.  I had insurance but once it was found by BA, the insurance company would not pay out or help towards the cost of sending it home (£134 in case you are interested - I think that’s a bargain!).  I just sent a bunch of flowers to the lovely lady Elena who works at the hotel, Grand Hotel Sofia.  If you ever stay in Sofia, PLEASE stay at the Grand Hotel Sofia.  And give Elena a big kiss from me.  She is probably gorgeous as all Bulgarian women are.

I was driving home the other day and I found myself welling up while listening to Starmaker from the Kids from Fame soundtrack.  This is not unusual.  I tend to do it when I haven’t listened to it for a while.

This is endemic of my propensity to blart, I’m afraid.  I cry quite a lot for an adult.  This particular song makes me get weepy because it reminds me of the Fame special that was shown a few years ago where some of the actors reunited and they sang this song around a piano.  Shortly after the filming of this show, the actor who played Leroy, Gene Anthony Ray, died.  Other things that can make me beal:

Watching Beaches

Steel Magnolias (Especially when Sally Field’s character M’Lynn has a melt-down in the graveyard after Shelby’s funeral)

The finale of Dawson’s Creek (dying Jen making a video for her baby)

and the final montage (I am such a sap)

When Buffy is awarded Class Protector at the prom.

and also when Buffy’s mum dies and Anya gets upset because she doesn’t know how to grieve (being an ex-demon and all).  The whole episode is really, really sad. In fact, pretty much anything where someone on TV is really crying. I can’t help but join in.  I have recently cried to One Tree Hill, Home and Away and Alias, to name a few.  Plus, being shouted at.   I just don’t like it. And onions.

This seems to happen far too often.  So scary.  So sad.